Consistency
There needs to be a show called “The Child Whisperer” in which people take their rebellious children to a counselor for advice. The show would work much the same as “The Dog Whisperer”.
If you have ever watched the show (I have not, but I have heard about it) the story goes that the dog trainer often points blame at the owner for the way that the dog behaves. There is a parallel here…
Much is the same when you see a child throw a temper tantrum. The parent has let the child get away with it in the past. The child will only do what they can get away with. Yes, they will try you to push the boundaries from time to time. The parent is the one that makes the boundaries and enforces the boundaries. The best way to parent is with consistency. IF YOU SAY IT, DO IT.
If you tell little Johnny not to touch the plant or he’ll get a spank (or other form of discipline that works), you must follow through with it, EVEN IF IT’S NO BIG DEAL.
I have some stubborn kids. They try me on a regular basis. I think you should only have to tell a kid once and they should listen. If not, it’s because there was no consequence for not listening the first time. My mom use to count to three!! We knew that she wasn’t gonna do anything till she reached three and got angry and yelled, so we never responded until then.
It’s knowing where to put the boundaries, what code of conduct that your family should follow and then following through with it.